Woman
by MayaLala
Summary: A woman should never mess with a man's castle! Unless maybe she's building a new castle and maybe, well maybe, oh screw it, women rule!


**This little one shot is for all the women that kept this fanfic world going over the hiatus. Thanks for the fun.**

"Oh my god Woman! What have you done," Nick yelled when he saw his bedroom after arriving home from a seventy hour work week at the bar.

Exhausted and needing sleep, he found himself circling the room muttering "damnit," under his breath while the smell of lemons and laundry soap awoke his senses. His bed was so tightly made he could bounce a quarter on it. Gone was his secret stack of collected pizza boxes in the corner and on top of that, his clothes, they were gone too. Literally gone. He checked his closet, he checked his drawers and there were no hoodies, jeans, henleys or boxer briefs, to be found. The worst of all, was the baby blue lamp by his bed that he swore had not been there before. What had she done to his room?

"Woman," he yelled stomping into the living room where Winston looked up from the game and Schmidt from his computer screen. "Where is she, where's Jess," he asked redfaced and hands on his hips.

"We don't keep tabs on her Nick, that's your job," Schmidt said with a smirk returning to his Etsy order for a hand spun silk scarf from a Lebanese woman living in Arkansas.

"Did you put her up to this Schmidt?"

"Whatever she did Nick, I approve. If it's made you this mad then it probably means something has changed in your pitiful life."

"What she did," he yelled, "that damn woman cleaned my bedroom. Can you believe that?"

Winston couldn't stop himself from bursting out laughing and slapping his thigh before blurting out, "dude, Jess cleaned your room? You know her, she was just trying to be nice,"

"She should probably have had it fumugated while she was at it or at least put down some rat traps. Although they probably have left the building now that they don't have a grocery store of rotting food at their disposal."

"You guys don't understand, we're dating, not living together. It's very different."

"Nick, have you actually taken Jess out on a date?" Winston stared at Nick all knowingly confusing him further. "No, you haven't. You're living together, just in separate bedrooms."

At that the front door opened and a smiling Jessica Day walked in wearing a summery mini yellow dress precariously carrying several grocery bags. "Hey babe," she said with his special smile as he grabbed the bags from her arms before she dropped them to the ground. "Oh thanks, those were getting heeavvvy," she sang.

Stomping into the kitchen behind her so she could clearly see his angry face, he proceeded to unpack the bags loudly, pausing for a moment when he saw she had picked him up a six pack of Heisler beer. Damnit, now why did she go and do that? Meanwhile, she took out pans and cheese shredders from the cupboards. Still trying to show how angry he was, he opened the fridge as hard as he could to make his point.

"Hey guys, I'm making a lasagna tonight. Dinner will be ready at 6:00 if anyone is interested." She tried to reach above the cabinet for a casserole pan and he couldn't help himself as he watched her mini dress hitch up the back of her thighs showing the very edges of her cheeks. "Nick, could you grab that pan for me?"

"Sure," he said temporarily distracted from his anger while he leaned over her body to grab it. His senses hit overdrive as he smelled coconut on her and memories swirled in his head of high school at the lake.

"Thanks babe," she said giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Don't worry, I got enough ingredients that you get your very own lasagna, no sharing with those clowns." She rolled her eyes at him and winked her awkward wink that always looked like she had an eyelash in her eye.

She was making him his very own lasagna? Damnit, he loved her lasagna. No stop, this must stop. She cannot throw away his pizza boxes and make his bed. It had to stop. There were boundaries being broken.

"Oh hey Nick, I saw the little sticker in my car window, did you get my oil changed?"

"I did the other day when I was picking up those boxes you needed for the Thanksgiving play. I saw your oil light go on. Jess you seriously gotta change the oil more often. They said it was so thick it could hold up a fork." He had a good chuckle with the Oil Can Henry guy over his girlfriend's lack of automobile maintenance. "Women," they had both chuckled in the end.

"Ya, I forget to do that stuff sometimes," she answered while placing cans of tomato sauce and containers of cheese on the counter. He shook his head trying to get himself to stop staring at her lowcut sundress and remember what he was doing in the kitchen to begin with.

"Jess, do you want to tell me something?"

"About what, about the woman with the funny hat in the market? Sure, if you want to hear. She was wearing one of those crochete hats my grandma used to make where you put a can of beer in the front pouch. The pink haired lady today had a Hamm's in hers but my grandma was more of a Schlitz girl actually and she tended to go with more of a blue tinge in her hair dye. Anyway, I told her..."

"Woman," he yelled slapping at the counter, "I said, did you want to tell me something?"

She looked up from her recipe book with giant shocked eyes as the sound of his voice echoed through the kitchen. He could see he had scared her which hadn't been his intention but she just kept yammering on and on.

"Oh yeah, I did Nick. Sorry, I forgot to leave you a note before I went to the market. I did your laundry."

He followed close behind her as they walked to her bedroom, shaking his head at how unbelievable she was right now, clueless actually at all the unspoken rules she had broken. The guys were air fiving him as he walked by, and Schmidt mouthed "go get her man." His blood was beginning to boil again. Who did she think she was cleaning his castle and damnit, he still was king of his castle. And why did her grandma have blue hair?

Her room held the same lemon fresh smell as his when she handed him the basket filled with neatly folded shirts and pants he recognized as his own.

Now basket in hand and eyes wide with amazement when he saw the actual color of his clothes, he said "what have you done?"

"Laundry Nick, your welcome. Oh, and your sheets are clean on your bed too."

"No, I mean what did you do to my room?"

"Oh, you noticed, I cleaned it. I saw how hard you were working this week and I was cleaning my own room so it just kind of spilled over into yours when I was gathering some of my dirty knickers over there." She tried to dance her eyebrows for emphasis but once again, she just looked like a marionette pupper. "I just kept cleaning I guess."

There was a pause between them where he stared into her eyes, crystal clear and happy, so happy that he wondered what the hell he was even mad about. "Jess," he sighed, resigning himself to defeat.

"Yeah," she said with her pink cheeks and lips, her curly hair, her happy eyes.

Staring at his hoodies, washed for the first time in existence he thought about how nice clean sheets were and he was tired. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the matching baby blue lamp sitting on a wallside table. Above it were hanging the prints he himself had hung last week for her after she had found them in a vintage shop she was crazy about. With a deep breath in his chest he merely leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

"Thanks babe."

"No problem Nick, I don't mind."

He smiled his most appreciative smile before turning to take the basket back to his room and see if he had enough hangers for all these clothes.

"Nick? Can I asked you a favor?"

"Sure hon, whatever you need."

"Could you maybe, sometime, call me Woman like that, again."

Blushing at his anger in the kitchen while he stood in front the most beautiful woman, he'd ever known, he said, "I'm sorry about that Jess, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

At that she sashayed over to him, eyes boring holes in his and took the basket out of his hands while shutting the door behind him.

"I kinda liked it. In fact, I might have to clean your room more often just to get you to say it again."

He felt his body heat up while he watched her bite her bottom lip. "Well it is my castle woman and you don't mess with a man's castle."

"Really, ever? What if I tell you I'm not wearing any underwear right now."

"Woman!"


End file.
